So what's this all about?

I'm sitting here in my penthouse apartment overlooking the abyss that is Washington D.C..

There is a package of 24 mangos sitting in a hamper to the left of me and a cage of chickens to the right of me. I have named each mango and now I'm working on the chickens.

Bob Dole is doling out Viagra to my sad looking guinea pig named Mason, who is in want of a little libido magic. Dixon, his sister, is non-plussed and not into the hocus-pocus world of pharmacology.

I remember my first beer.